Driving Lessons

[Nanno]

I did not have anxiety issues earlier in life. This crept up on me in the last years after several accidents around horses (trailer flipping over, almost being trampled in a very stupid situation) and generally being burned-out.

I could no longer be truthfull in my body language, my mind would tell me "nothing to fear" but my body would do its own thing. This has nothing to do with being afraid of traumatizing my animals - I really, really resent that interpretation of my attempts to talk about a way of training that is not based on the threat of punishment.

Believe me, it is no, no, no fun and also out of conscience control when your own body betrays you while your mind knows what to do.

I apologize if I misunderstood. I've gotten the (apparently wrong) impression that you think it's cruel to basically do anything with an animal--correct it, push it out of your way, separate it from its herd or home, put it in a tight space, make it wait for food, or allow it to feel nervous for even a second without removing it from the stressful situation. It's making me paranoid!

I also remembered that discussion we had last summer when you said you were afraid to tell your grandmother that she'd used salt instead of sugar in your cocoa. And never getting over the dentist? That is a lot of anxiety! I'd never have been afraid to speak up about such a thing and I can't even grasp feeling helpless and cowed like that. I've never been treated in such a way that I was afraid to tell someone if something was wrong. Those stories probably colored my impression of you incorrectly it would seem. I apologize for offending you.